Why do you want a bunk room for boys & a Suite for Girls?

I’m not guaranteed one day more so I have to be 

intentional about today, right now, this very moment. And

in this very moment… they’re preparing for bed. The sun’s

gone down, the farm is  quiet…  Well not really quiet but a

different kind of noise has fallen over our small mountain.



The lights in the house have been dimmed to a low level,

everyone has showered, typically they’ve had a small snack

and are just hanging out in our room.  After several

minutes of loitering around our room and listening to Coleen

and I talk about our day, I pray and send them off to

their rooms where they can read or do something

quietly for a few moments.   After that, its lights off…



Then the sounds of laughter and conversations spill
pleasantly into our room.  On a rare occasion I might have
to guide the conversation :), but the conversations
eventually fade into silence, and one day more is our hope
for tomorrow.  One day more to shape their heart, one
day more to show them how… How to love,
how to work and how to be a family. 


In our home we have two large bedrooms for the kids,

one for the girls which we call the “girls suite” and one for the

boys which we call the “bunk room”.  The bunk room

originally had 2 sets of bunks for a total of 4 beds. 

However, after our adoption we had to add a few morebeds

so we added a 3rd level to the bunks, providing 6 beds for our five boys.  



We’ve gained a bit of space in the girls suite marrying off

our two oldest but anytime they return home they love tohang out

in the girls suite and catch up with all their best friends (their sisters).  



Why do we do it?  Why do I want my boys to share a bunk

room or my girls to share a suite?  Well in the words of

John Wayne, “because all the gold in the United States

Treasury and all the harp music in heaven can’t equal what

happens between [siblings] with all that growing together,

I can’t explain it any better than that!” -John Wayne in McClintock



When the president of the United States speaks its
extremely strategic and purposeful, sometimes it’s at a
school surrounded by kids, a military base
in a sea of camouflage and young faces, or encircled
by a sea of white coats.  A great deal of thought goes into
a presidential speech… right down to the pin on his suit
and the color of his tie. Everything sends a message and no
detail is left undone. I believe parenting should have that
same level of forward thinking because everything we
do has an affect and sends a message.
  1. Just sticking your kids in a room together does not mean they will grow to love each other… It requires proactive intentional parenting… you are the shepherd of their hearts.  Yes, there are arguments, fights, and disagreements but we help them work through those things by thinking of others greater than themselves.  We are active in listening, watching and engaging them in their rooms.  Making their rooms fun, creative, and encouraging them to live and work well together.  It is a lot of work but it is so rewarding when your siblings become each others best friends.
  2. Be intentional about bedtime.  Around the farm we all work hard and enjoy winding down in the evening.  It’s important to allow our minds and bodies to re-energize with proper rest.  The first thing we do is to lower the lights with the setting of the sun (there is a lot of science behind this) We have found by dimming the lights it calms our children, and naturally makes them sleepy (you’re suppose to get sleepy when it’s dark).  We don’t allow TV, laptops, video games, or any electronic devices after dark.  We are not only intentional about what enters our eyes but the conversations that happen around the home.  We talk to each other and we practice at supper if we need to.  Fun Fact: Did you know commercial chicken houses turn the lights on when it gets dark to keep egg production high.  (Don’t be a chicken house!)
  3. Allow your kids to be apart of your room and set the example… Our kids love to hang out in our room before bed and listen to Coleen and I talk about how crazy the day was, listen to me read outloud to Coleen, or just listen to each other talk.  There is usually always something funny.  We keep our room light very low, there are a couple of  chairs for them to sit in at the end of our bed or some just lay across the bottom of our bed or sit on the floor around the room.  It has become an evening tradition and we love it!


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